10112 thoughts

This happens to be the place I feel at ease letting off my frustrations. Before we start a good promising streak of nothing but how life will be brilliant, walk with me through this dark phase. The light is at the end of the tunnel and I really don't know if I just started my walk in or am I in the middle or close to the end. I don't know either. Today morning I woke up to some sad news. My milk delivery guy back at home passed on. Tragic. Oh, for those wondering about a milk delivery guy. Back at our home we get milk delivered to the door from the farmer. The motorist takes milk from different farmers, come and sell to us at the suburbs. This man grew with us through our lifes. A week and a half ago, our milk man had an accident and broke his limbs and I guess he got some severe injuries which he succumbed to yesternight. I am sad because I saw his hard work through the years. From one hustle to another. Raising up his family, and finally having her daughters get the campus. M...

Check check . Damn it. Consistency, from the beginning I promised to be consistent with this but what excuse do I have for my brain . Yeah, I have been away, not from the internet, but time to reflect . A little it felt not worth it, for a moment I felt discouraged. No one was in my corner to motivate me . Well, the truth of life.  So of late I have been having bitter pills to swallow. Correct answers that were not the ones I accepted. The part where you have to seek for advice the third time because the first two didn't advise the way you wanted . That has been my life this month. I thought it being  my birthday month that everything would be soft and wow. Unfortunately, I fell off trains I thought took me the right way, I fell off relationships I thought would last and I learnt the hard way. I am  With age comes wisdom. Nature has its best way to teach you some life hard questions. Took me long enough to understand being good will never give you anything but let you get...

It sounded as if i had my head set on . Tic tac, tic tac I dont know but it became louder, tossing and turning until all my brain would processs was questions of; is it worth it. Tic tac, flashes of my last happy laugh, was it worth it? Tic tac, what's  the cost of my happines, does it cost me enough? Tic tac what is to be valued? Does been good really count or makes one be used.  I dont know. Tic tac, I am losing my breathe, becuse I think time is moving fast and I am just here doing nada. Or am I still young, I need to be patient. Tic tac, I cant help it but worry. Worry that tommorrow is not promised, but why should I live today if tommorrow I wont be there. Tic tac, gets louder and this time slower. I could hear five tics' in a second. A roller coaster feeling, I cant breathe . Heavy pants to gasp the air. Tic tac, it's deep in the night, why does it have to feel this way. Death can be cruel to us the living but is it comfortable on the other end? How does it feel;  l...

So, its been a minute since I wrote. You can telk that since before results I have been away . Not soul searching though, but connecting back to my self. I travelled now to the rural. Just trees, birds chirping, river flowing. The heavy afternoon rains, hailstorms. Well it was a little satisfying. No power, people there use solar power. Takes you two days to charge your phone. Or you would rather take it to the centre where there are shops . Electricity reaches there . Every one goes to shop there , Sell there produce and also men and the young adults meet there to socialize, women too but mostly they are there for shopping. Its a cool place. Young boys are there for movies. The movies explained by someone on whats going on. Famous in our rural areas.  I took quite interesting strolls around the village . The paths formed, bushes around. It was scary but well. I would pass by fences and pick mangoes or sugarcane. Munchies innit. Anyway . I had some crazy occurence this time . I had...

 Hey guys, day three of vote counting in the republic, everything is at tense, everybody is like, what's going to happen? Results on the television differing from channel to channel. It is just a lot for most of the citizens. Things are a stand still, not many places are opened around. The town centers are close to empty. I mean no lines even in the banks. Most people have travelled to there rural homes to vote I think. Today has been a good day, I mean chess excites me, I had a fair streak, won half the games and lost half. I felt the urge to practice more so that tomorrow I have more wins than loses. It's been an awesome day, just because one of my friends whom I taught chess, has become good in it, I am happy at how she has improved over the months. I can't explain how it feels, I am grateful. Apart from chess and elections, yesterday I decided to engage my mum in a conversation. I asked her a question and well I thought she would perceive it in a different way but well,...

 Hey guys, today was the most awaited day in the republic, Election, general election in our country. It was my second time having to participate. I was proud to perform my civil duties. Far from us queuing under the sun and you know doing the thing, does our votes really count? Do the rumors serve us right, is it democracy for us, or the system is manipulating us? Well, this are the questions that I have been asking my self the whole of the day. Also today, I was just rethinking the dawn of the next leadership in our country. I lamented on the way we in the third world countries, how long are we going to suffer before we realized that before every election we must have an economic breakdown then take two whole years to recover first then two years later we are back on the same situation. today at our polling station. I went and thought I knew it all. took myself to the queue for people whose names start with K . My surname starts with a K of course. I spend close to two hours befo...

Good Monday, folks. Well today again, I was struck by the anguish that comes with losing a phone, well , I am offline. operating from a phone which I keep forgetting about. Today I skipped  a meet up because I don't have a good phone. Well I have a history of been mugged, Like it has happened loads of time that I even became immune to losing phones. It does not hurt me anymore once I lose a phone. It is a  norm already, to me though. A streak I hope  it is over. In less than an year, I have been mugged twice, like good contact with the robbers and one was a pick pocket. Three good phones. I couldnt.t talk about cheap phones, also not that they were too expensive. Anyway they were good phones that I was proud of owning. Not to mention two of previous mugs in the previous years. About my phone that was stolen last year , close to the end. In the streets of Roysambu, a constituency in the capital city. We decided one fine evening, 2100 hours, my cousin and I that we would ta...

Guys, my trip home was the best, I even forgot to write. I have travelled for three days, two days verbally and well physically last night. I almost postponed again. Home is so much fine, everything is here, everyone is here. I have met a few friends already, yet to meet the rest. But so far so good. I had an eventful journey. met new friends, I had conversations with strangers close to two hours about life, young group of lads giving out our views on the current issues of the world. Not only did I have a good time but also learned and made new friends. I was amazed how despite us been rowdy and off the hook sometimes, we still got sense in us, good ability to make sound reasoning. I miss my place though, chilling alone in the crib, your own type of music, out here in this house, the owner, plays her type of music, well it's her boyfriend who pays the bills, I got no options. I am already singing along folk songs. advertisements on the TV, damn it was a minute before I fo...

 There are many ways to deal with the pain, choose wisely. I am writing as I listen to this great album again, bars split through it, Cole called out how he was not teaming up with people not believing in his dreams. life too crazy that needs no flipping. Well too serious already.  What is in stall today. well I am going home, tomorrow for the elections. I hope for a peaceful elections because I want to come back and continue chasing life away from home. Mans dream of not going back to the block, I want to excel and change the block some day. You know, the village thing where ones you out the village, you are not supposed to come back and live there, yeah that traditions not so clearly put out but it  lingers in every village parents head.  I felt happy about travelling back home this time, Whole week I have been having calls from friends who we haven't talked close to five years passed, reaching out from the socials. They are all looking forward  to hanging out...

 'Check mate.' Lifts face with a smile to my opponent, ready for trash talking. Good day good streak means its your lucky day. But also there days it was the opposite , the losing streak, flowing, the more the defeat the angrier one became. Well the theory behind it , I guess it's psychological. Also the more the defeats, the more the study so that the next day you would come with a new style tactic until you have your pattern in set, it's interesting. So today we reminisce, the sweet 2020, the year we all survived if you are reading this. To some it was way worse, to some it was better , to some it was just there. It was many feelings in the whole world. Some of us gained knowledge, had weight reducing instead of  increasing, also it was adventurous for me. I learned to play chess in 2020. I was a little bit depressed, a little anxious about life, you know coming from school where I was getting my hype moments of life of freedom and once in a flash, it was cut out. Tha...

Yesterday was a good day, I wanted to share how I was glad to make sure my name was on the graduation list. It is freaking cold. the worlds freezer is working full time. I woke up not early, because its me, waited for Bruuh, who obviously is lame in time keeping, One of the feathers that keeps us flocking together, never on time. We are really trying to work on that though. We hit the matatus off to the institution of higher learning. We did our thing and the day was done. Anyway been a Tuesday we had a lot to throw back about. Laughing on the streets of  the city, not shamelessly though. You can guess our conversations, from serious talks of how we are to improve our skills and face the next step of life to well  you can all guess where it went to. I really don't know what to call it or how to come by: Bruuh did it one time to me, coochie blocking. lacking better way to name the scenario. sometime back, we had just finished our finals, where we decide to go and  party to...

 Everything new is said to be bring happiness, this week already felt good vibes at my first wake, the week felt good already. Maybe it's because its my birthday month, I have that crazy excitement that apparently I can't show off because its not cool to do that nowadays. Today morning I thought of the lessons I need to learn, what I need to know, what I need to shed off, because turning the new age is that place where all eyes are on you because you are done with uni, the haters waiting for a fail, they don't stand a chance though, because they keep us moving, the ones with us in heart and mind well celebrations ahead.  Well, today was the last day of me paying the price of a promise I gave while I was younger. Simple messages, been in the moment, and dumb naturally. I promised I would be there, been the real friend, I became the dumber one in the sight of others. well, the price to pay was just a token of love, that i learned its not worthy for everyone to just get. It ha...